This one is for those newly engaged couples out there. Yes, this is a magical time where the future feels bright and the air seems lighter. It should! You just made one of the biggest decisions of your life with the person you love. However, the question is coming. Lots of questions are coming. What’s next? We are here to help with things you will want to do after you get engaged.
First things first, congratulations! Getting engaged is a big deal. You have found your person. You have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. That is nothing to shake a stick out. Although you want this romantic high to live on forever, reality sets in. The reality of family, friends and nosey people’s opinions and suggestions circling you on the daily. Your love is still there so is the beauty of this new-found commitment. This is the first of many obstacles you’ll face together, make it something both of you can be proud of.
Ok, you don’t have to make three wedding Pinterest boards, but you get the idea. So many young people anticipate the season that you are currently in. It could be the fairytale books or the Disney movies talking, but let’s get real. Finding the person your heart so longed for can make even the most stoic people swoon.
Even if you have a long line of wedding Pinterest boards or a dream board filled with every wedding wish you had as a child, scrap it and start over. It is smart to talk with a wedding planning professional to go through what your ideal wedding looks like now. Years offer a lot of change. This includes your style. It is just another reason why keeping your wedding choices on the downlow until you are certain is important. Plus, your family and guests will have no expectations if you keep as much as you can a surprise. It is a lot less stressful when no one is anticipating any one thing.
Save Where You Can.
One thing is for certain. Getting married is expensive. Well, having a wedding is expensive. If you just got engaged and are looking to elope, don’t let anyone tell you different, unless they are willing to pay for everything. Weigh your options and do what is going to be the best for the two of you.
Destination weddings are another good option. Wrap your wedding and honeymoon up into one. This is typically a sure-fire way to keep your wedding intimate. Most people who are just in to attending for the party won’t pay to be there, and only your closest loved ones will be present for your special day.
Planning a wedding is an expensive process. Especially if you are looking to have a large wedding. Before picking a bridal party, a venue or a dress, plan your budget. It is the 21st century, the days of a bride’s parents paying for everything is considered outdated by many. This makes budgeting key to successful wedding planning.
Who is paying for what? How can you cut back? What alternatives are available to extend the budget further? How much padding will you need for the budget? Budgeting is not the fun, magical part of being engaged. However, this little bit of time and annoyance will help you avoid going into major debt and complications later.
Starting off your marriage in debt can cause for a very rocky and stressful future ahead. Prioritize what you aren’t willing to go without and save money where you can in your day-to-day life. When payments are due for wedding bookings, you’ll be glad you saved.
When working on a healthy lifestyle, it is as important to know what not to do as it is to know what to do. Just like when you get engaged, it is just as important to know want not to do. The first step is the most important. Do anything... but whatever you do, enjoy the moment.
One of the most common mistakes people make after getting engaged is starting to wedding plan right away. That is easier said than done. You are both excited and ready to get your life started together instead of taking in the moment.
Spread the word- family first. It is best to start out with FaceTiming and phone calls. Let Granny and all your closest friends and relatives know about the good news. Do NOT post right away to social media. Yes, it’s tempting, and yes, it gets the word out quick. However, if Granny, who has no Facebook, finds out you are engaged by her neighbor, you will never live that down. It is not worth ruining your moment.
Do NOT start stressing. This is one of the most beautiful times in both of your lives. Do not be afraid to put things off at the beginning of your engagement because when wedding planning gets started, it’s a rapid process. Don’t start wedding dress shopping or announcing your bridal party, a lot can change in a short amount of time. Do not start making promises. You don’t want to find yourselves months down the road regretting the dress you chose, your bridal party or your wedding colors. You want to love everything about your big day. You want to feel the magic in the air and enjoy the love between the two of you. You should have the people you care about most by your side. It is a terrible feeling having to ask someone in your bridal party to no longer be in your wedding. Avoid as much stress as you can by taking some time to be together. Enjoy these moments.
Do not wear a wedding ring that does not fit. If it is too big, you are at risk of losing it. If it is too small, you are at risk of hurting your finger. Get it sized right away. You’ll be missing it for a few days, but don’t fret. You’ll have it with you for the rest of your life. Don’t fret over losing weight. Your partner is with you because they love who you are now. Focus on making your wedding what you want and remain consistent on your routine. You will want to stay around the same general size because once the ring is fitted, it’s nearly impossible for last-minute alterations. That’s the future. Your engagement is now. Don’t overwhelm yourself right off the bat with something that can be easily taken care of.
If you have the planning bug and can’t seem to shake it off, plan an engagement party. This will give you the chance to put photos together, gather family and consider some of your wedding options. There is nothing wrong with having a plan or listening to other people’s suggestions. Just remember, it is the big day for the two of you. There is nothing wrong with saying you are still enjoying the moment or haven’t decided on anything, and please, do NOT feel guilty for saying so. People will try guilting you into inviting them to your wedding or guilting you into putting them in your wedding. It comes with the territory.
This Time is your Time. Take Advantage of It.
This may be one of the most important things to do when you get engaged... spend some time together alone, away from everything and everyone. Before the planning and the budgeting, take a quick day or weekend trip to the local springs or a tourist destination near you. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant. It is important to soak it all in together.
Talk. Talk about what you both want for your future beyond the wedding. Talk about what you want for the wedding itself. Do it just to get to know each other in a different way. It is the first opportunity to really talk about your future with a definite path in mind.
Absorb some sunlight. Eat good food. Sleep in. Truly take in your engagement. It is so easy to say you are taking time to soak it all in, but when you are around your family, friends, coworkers and day-to-day obligations, there is no way to not think and stress over planning. When you are separated from it all, you get to think without any distractions and appreciate this new beginning for you both.
The timeframe is different for every engaged couple. You might want to get married on your weekend getaway. Avoid the craziness of it all. Elope if that is your heart’s desire. If not, truly reflect and discover what it is that you both want- away from the influences. You may agree on most things or on nothing at all. Some people know exactly what they want for their wedding, and when both parties are passionate about it, it can be a struggle. Work through it and don’t be afraid to figure out where you can compromise.
Your future hubby may just agree to anything you want when you are talking with a wedding planner. He just wants to make you happy. The question is, have you asked him what it is that he wants at his wedding? Growing up, when those Pinterest or dream boards were created, your opinion was the only one in mind. It’s different now. It is both of your big day. It’s time to plan the day you have both wanted. A quick getaway after your engagement will give you the time you need. Put the phones away. Make sure that you are both on the same page, and nothing is left unsaid. You won’t regret it.
Success does not come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently. If you start your marriage off on the wrong foot, odds are you will continue to make the same mistakes. Base your marriage on a foundation of trust. The person you are engaged to should be the person you trust more than anyone else in the world.
Now that you are engaged, that trust is taken to a different level. You can’t just break up when you are married. It is much harder to get out of a marriage than it is to get into it. Let’s be frank. That is not the goal. The goal is to spend your lives together. Make the start of forever the picture of both of your wedding dreams.
Our florists at Maryjane's Flowers in Berlin, NJ are here to help ensure that you know exactly what to do after you get engaged. Surprise that new fiancé of yours with a flower arrangement that speaks to her beauty. Remind her that this time is about the two of you and no one else. Help be her rock because you know she is stressing over her mom and your mom and all the other opinions flowing in. You are a team. Never stop pursuing her, and she’ll never stop falling in love with you.
For the happy parents gaining a new son or daughter-in-law, consider sending a flower arrangement as a form of congratulations. Encourage the newly engaged couple to enjoy some time together and reflect on this new milestone in their life. Talk with them about your experience getting married and being married. However, be ever so cautious not to pry.
As much as we would love to give you a 10 Step Guide to Happily Ever after, there isn’t one. All marriages are different just like all couples are unique. What matters is that you focus on love, trust and communication. This time is yours together and no matter what you do after you get engaged, engage with each other. You’ll thank us later.